To my precious one-year-old,
Yup. I’m already welling up. That’s all it takes - “to my precious one-year-old” – and I’m done for.
“One-year-old.” It can’t be true! It can’t have been more than I week since I first heard of you, can it? You were five months old at the time. It was April and you were all smiles for your Nanny and Pops, growing and dancing and giggling and entertaining everyone you met. And I fell head over heels for you the moment I first heard your name. Elizabeth. Oddly enough, the very, very first “girl name” your Daddy ever mentioned to me when we were dating and we would talk about getting married and having children. “I kind of like Elizabeth for a girl name, what do you think? It’s traditional but you can make lots of nicknames from it. It’s a name you can grow with.”
April seems like just last week.
And May, the beautiful, blessed day I met you and held you close for the
first time… that was just yesterday. You
were so small and so perfect. I was
amazed at how you warmed right up to me – or so I thought. Turns out, you’re the most good-natured baby
of all time, and you “warm up” to anyone.
As time has gone by and you’ve learned to need me and love me, you have
TRULY warmed up to me: deep belly laughs and endless chatter and the silliest,
sloppiest bubble-blowing noises. Ear-to-ear grins when you hear my voice; my
heart just melts.
So if May was just yesterday… how can it be that you’re ONE already?
You know who really can’t believe it? Your Nanny and Pops. They SO wish they could be here to celebrate
with us. “Elizabeth,” they wrote in your
birthday card, “From the first moment we held you, when you were only hours old,
to our last breath on this world, we will love you and cherish you. You are a special light in this world and
anyone that has known you or will know you will be touched by you!” They took
you home and turned their lives upside down for you, they named you and made
you their own, they love you with all their hearts. I bet this year has just flown by for them.
You know who else can’t believe it? Your beautiful birthmom and her
family. WOW, I bet they have a whole lot
of memories from this day a year ago.
They, too, loved you the moment they saw you. They say you were perfect, precious, a
miracle of God. It broke their hearts to
kiss you goodbye and send you with Nanny and Pops, but they trusted in God’s
plan for you… and for them… and look where that faith and trust has put us all
today. Daddy and I can’t imagine our
lives without you, after five short little months having you home. Your grandmas and grandpas and aunts and
uncles love you so, so much, for all that you are, and all the joy and healing
that you have brought to us. We exchange
pictures with Nanny and Pops almost every day, and your birth family are the
founding members of your Facebook Fan Club.
All of this made possible by God’s grace in giving one brave girl the
strength to choose life for you, and His mercy in using you to bring us all
together as a big, beautiful, amazing SUPER-FAMILY.
“Precious.” Well, that part of it doesn’t need much explaining. A picture is worth a thousand words, and
since we’ve taken about a thousand precious pictures... you get the point. But far more precious than a picture is to
dance with you, to giggle with you, to sing with you, to rock you to
sleep. These are the moments I have
dreamed of for years, some pretty big expectations, and you surpassed every one
of them the first day I spent with you.
You are the very definition of precious: invaluable, irreplaceable,
breathtaking.
“My.” Really it’s this, the second word, that had me welling up. How amazing it is that I can call you mine!
God is so, so, so good. When I say I’d
dreamed of you for years, that’s not entirely true. I dreamed of a child to love and to hold and
to care for. But even my wildest dreams,
I could never have imagined what it would be like to be your Mommy. You are more than I ever knew was possible,
more than I deserve, and more perfect for me and Daddy than any other baby out
there… because you were made for us.
Designed by God to be the answer to our prayers and then some. You challenge us in ways we never expected,
you have shown us strength within ourselves we never knew we had, and you have
taught us to love more deeply than we ever knew how before you came along.
Most mamas have shared 21 months of love with their babies by the first
birthday. I’ve only had six and a half
months since you entered my life. And
yet, my precious, one-year-old Libby, I love you with all my heart and
soul. All this after a few short months…
how will I feel by your NEXT birthday, when I’ve truly had a full year with
you? I think my heart might burst. Most
mamas have beautiful, priceless memories of the day their babies came into the
world. For the life of me, I can’t
recall a thing about what I was doing on November 3, 2011. We were going on a road trip the next day, so
I assume I got gas and snacks and packed and called the hotel. I didn’t make a bank deposit or use the debit
card. I didn’t post a single thing on
facebook. Sometimes I wish I could
remember, but most of the time I’m so happy I can’t. The fact that the day is not memorable to me
is a symbol of a lot of my days before you… they were a big, blurred-together,
wishing-for-you mess until the day you came into my life. And what’s truly important is not what
happened to me that day you drew your first breath, but what happened to the
world and to all the people your life would touch. You happened.
Thank you for being perfectly, beautifully, wonderfully you. I love you, Pumpkin Pie.
Mommy
Mommy
