Six Months Already?

Can it really be May already? I've been turning the calendar pages, watching the weather change, and getting excited for the season finales of my favorite TV shows.  But MAY? May 1 marks six months since the glorious fall day I drove to the Cities, hand-delivered our profile books to our adoption agency, wrote out a big, fat check, treated myself to a gigantic Pumpkin Spice Latte, and drove home through the gorgeous fall colors with a goofy grin and a song of hope in my heart.  On November 1, we became a "Waiting List Family." That's a BIG DEAL.  That's the point when the phrases "average wait time," "any day now," and "I'm going out of my mind" actually mean something.

I'm skipping over a couple steps in my quest to educate my dear family and friends about the journey of Domestic Infant Adoption.  I've hardly scratched the surface of the paperwork and fundraising and soul-searching we did to get to November 1. But, in honor of today's little anniversary, let's just page ahead a few chapters, maybe peek at the pictures of what the months have been like.

The chapter about the waiting period is entitled "Thankful." Thankful to be done with paperwork. Thankful for the cute little Christmas and Easter and "because-we-felt-like-it" presents that Baby Redfield has begun to acquire.  Thankful for the courage to share our journey with others, which grows each time I post and get blown away by how much our family and friends love us and are praying for us.  Thankful for friends, old and new, struggling with some of the same issues I have, sharing their stories with me and letting me know how much my willingness to share has helped them.  They have no idea how much they have helped me, too :)

So those are the happy days, the "up" days.  These six months have included plenty of downer days, too.  I get pretty mopey from time to time.  And panicked.  And ungrateful.  And I really hate when I get like that, because my head knows that I have PLENTY to be thankful for, even while I sit and wait indefinitely for my heart's greatest desire.  So maybe, just maybe, if I write down some of these "thankful thoughts," I can turn back to them next time I get cranky, and snap out of it a little more quickly.  And maybe, just maybe, some of these "thankful thoughts" can help ease the pain and share a laugh or two with the above-mentioned friends who wait, and wait, and wait as I do.

Maybe a laugh or two from my my already-parent-friends, as well... as they think back to carefree, simpler days gone by :)

November 1 - Thankful for Starubucks and Sleep

Today I am thankful that I can afford Starbucks.  Not every day, mind you.  But more easily than I imagine I'll be able to in a year or two.  I'm pretty stingy about the budget, and I don't see that loosening once Baby comes.  I hardly slept a wink last night, knowing that today I would take this beautiful drive to do this VERY exciting thing that we have been waiting and waiting to do, turn in our books and become a "Waiting Family." It's so lovely knowing that "not being able to sleep" is a rarity at this time. Usually I sleep quite well, thank you very much. And when I have a little trouble now and then, I love that I can turn to Starbucks to help me through it.

December 1 - Thankful for Open Bathroom Doors

Having everyone for Thanksgiving was so fun, and made me really excited with all these thoughts of "by next Thanksgiving..." Shopping on Black Friday and Saturday was really fun, too... I was way more intrigued by baby stuff than Christmas gifts, since I am starting to think about our baby registry.  But seriously, as excited as I am, I just spent four days with an 18-month-old, and I am exhausted.  He is into EVERYTHING!!! For today, I am thankful that I can vacuum up the tufts of dog hair when I have time or when I feel like it, not immediately for fear my child will eat them.  And I don't yet have to baby-gate the entire house.  Or remember to close the bathroom door.  Plenty to be thankful for.

Our sweet nephew Jacob, 18 months at Thanksgiving, literally into everything!

January 1 - Thankful for Easy Travel

I simply cannot believe how loaded down this car was for Family Christmas Road Trip.  On the way out to Wisconsin, we barely had an inch to spare between presents, luggage, and dog supplies.  The trip back was a little more spacious, but not much.  We really love traveling with our doggies, and it takes so little time and thought to get them ready for a road trip.  They sleep the whole way, and we really only have to stop and let them out once between our house and Oconomowoc.  One of these days we're going to need a new vehicle when we travel, to make room for a carseat between all the presents and luggage and dog supplies.  And a U-Haul for the extra baby gear.  And hours and hours to think about and pack every last baby thing we will need while away from home.  Sigh.  Dogs are so easy.

Charlie and Sam love road trips as much as we do!

February 1 - Thankful for Football and Running

The Super Bowl is days away and I still refuse to watch a minute of it.  The Giants and Patriots? Seriously? Barf.  But at least this year I have a choice in the matter.  Next year when, not if, WHEN my beloved Packers return to the Super Bowl, I still may not watch even a minute, because Baby wants to play or scream or eat.  Who knows? How wonderful it is to zone out for an entire Sunday afternoon, knock back a couple beers, and watch hours and hours of football.  And scream at the TV without having to worry about scaring a little one.  Although it is quite fun to make the dogs jump out of their skin when Finley drops a pass.

Also in the past month, we finished our Insanity videos and started run-training again for our races in May.  Tim will be doing a marathon again and I'll be doing a half.  For now, our training runs are not too intense.  But we still have to make the time to run 4-5 days a week.  And come April and May, we'll be running for HOURS on Saturdays.  I often question how this will work with a baby in the house.  I have no answer.  Just keep running and being thankful that, for today, I can do my thing!

March 1 - Thankful for Winter Adventures

We just got back from SUCH a fun vacation up north and unanimously (the two of us and both dogs) declared it the first ANNUAL late-winter trip to the North Shore.  We excitedly called our families and tried to feel out who would be interested in joining us next year.  We thought about a larger cabin for everybody, rather than smaller hotel suites.  Then it hit me, what do people DO on vacation with baby? No all-day hiking in the winter cold, no 10-hour movie marathons waiting out a snowstorm, no grabbing the camera and quick running outside without a thought because something is beautiful, no falling asleep in the jacuzzi, no peacefully sipping lattes and enjoying 30 minutes of absolutely nothing to do. Not if we want to travel by ourselves, anyway.  We will definitely need to bring an army of family along, pack up the aforementioned U-Haul with baby gear, and learn how to "relax" very differently.

Maybe we can still winter-hike with Baby? Probably not for 8 hours, though.

April 1 - Thankful for Airplanes

It took me a while to get comfortable going away on weekends without Tim.  I know he works really hard and needs to get away, so the first year we were here I always felt I needed to stay home with him.  But he understands that I need to get away, and especially once we have kids, I will take off from time to time and go visit the Grandmas and Grandpas without him.  But in these pre-baby days, I am so thankful for the luxury of airplanes.  The price of gas is so freaking high, sometimes a single plane ticket is cheaper than driving a thirteen-hour round trip.  Once Baby comes, it might not be an option.  But for now, how amazing is it that I can fly to Chicago to visit Sara or Milwaukee to get a Jacob fix?

Visiting my dear friend Sara and her family in Chicago in March.

May 1 - Thankful for Alone Time

I have a feeling my posts are about to get much shorter, once Baby comes.  And fewer and farther between.  Maybe not.. I HOPE not... but I just have a feeling.  For today, I'm thankful for an hour of quiet alone with my thoughts, once or twice a month, to share with the world how blessed I am, and how blessed I'm about to become.