It’s no secret that Tim
and I have learned to WAIT. Sometimes
patiently, faithfully, confidently; other times anxiously and full of despair. If you’re reading this post, it’s likely not
the first you’ve heard of our years of waiting and wondering, traveling many different
paths that finally led to infant adoption and, ultimately, the beautiful girl
we now call Our Libby.
And so the title “We Wait
For You” might easily refer to that smiling face you’ve seen in so many photos
on facebook, the soft, fuzzy head now covered in wispy auburn hair, the big
brown eyes that light up my world. But
here today, it refers to our relationship with our Lord and Savior, which has
been tested and strengthened throughout this process.
I started jotting down
notes for this post four weeks ago, July 15.
I was practicing organ for church early on a Sunday morning. Libby was babbling and rolling around behind
me on the organ room floor. My thoughts
were far from learning my hymns and choosing preservice music. I was thinking about how much she’d grown and
changed already, in the six short weeks we’d had her home with us. I was thinking about just how much we’d
missed, not even meeting her until she was six months, three and a half weeks
old. I was thinking about how things
might have been different if we’d known about her, seen pictures and videos of
her, maybe even held her months before.
Let me back up and lay
out a quick timeline here. These dates
are burned into my mind, but I have to remember that the rest of the world
doesn’t revolve around Libby, like mine does :)
- Elizabeth was born on November 3, 2011.
- She was taken home to Pismo Beach, CA by Gene and Dede on November 8 (they were with her in the hospital from the 4th).
- Her Optic Nerve condition was officially diagnosed and her blindness confirmed on December 6.
- After trying several other routes/agencies, Libby’s birth family made an adoption plan with Bethany Christian Services in late March. The agency first tried to place her with a family within the state.
- In April the search was opened up to Bethany branches in other states. Tim and I were given her story on April 16 and asked if we would like to be considered. We were told that our profile would be shown on April 20.
- On May 1, we found out we had been chosen.
- On May 28, we arrived in Pismo Beach and met precious Elizabeth.
- On June 3, we flew her home to Minnesota.
So you can see she had a
long road before she even came to us, and before we even knew about her. Gene and Dede gave her such wonderful care,
and I’m convinced she could not have had a better start in life. They gave her everything we would have wanted
to give her ourselves, and then some.
And in return, she blessed them with smiles and milestones and seven months
of precious memories that they will cherish forever.
Meanwhile, we
waited. For months, we knew nothing
about her. Have a look now at Tim and
Megan’s timeline from November-May:
- On November 1 we submitted our profile (a Shutterfly book of photos and information about ourselves) for birth families to look at. This completed our paperwork process and made us a “waiting family.” We rushed to finish our book by this date, because our social worker had told us about an upcoming profile showing in South Dakota that would be a possible match for us. Books were being shipped on November 2, so ours had to be turned in by the 1st.
- November 4: Gene and Dede meet sweet Elizabeth and fall in love. Tim and Megan drive to Illinois for a wedding. Our minds have been consumed with this showing in South Dakota all week. California is the farthest place from our minds :) The South Dakota showing is postponed several times, and eventually, at the end of November, the birth mother picks another family.
- Late December: we get our second profile showing opportunity. This one we turn down, because the additional costs in this particular situation would have nearly doubled our total adoption expenses. It was SO hard to say no after months and years of wanting a child so badly.
- February: So far it’s been approximately six weeks between each of these profile showings. The wait has been excruciating. Our nursery has been complete and ready for quite a while. Some days the sight of it gives me hope. Some days it crushes me and I close my eyes as I pass through it to get to our own bedroom. Some days I don’t even notice it’s there. We got another call for a profile showing a couple of hours away. The situation sounded a little risky but promising, so we agreed to have our book shown. The day of the showing, my stomach was doing somersaults. I snuck a peek at my phone at 10:30 that morning in the back office at work, and let out a shriek when I saw an e-mail from our social worker. I read it through and was disappointed once again. She was letting us know there had been a huge response to this showing and our book had not even been sent. It would have been too many books for the birth couple, so they had cut about half the couples who had wanted to be shown.
So there you have
it. That’s it! Only three big
disappointments, only six months on a waiting list that commonly lasts 1-2
years, or longer. Looking back, we had
it pretty good. I’ve heard some awful
stories of endless waits and crushing blows along the way. But if you’d tried to tell me we “had it good”
last winter or spring, I would have laughed in your face, or maybe scratched
you, depending on the day :) It sure didn’t feel good. It felt awful, living in the unknown like
that.
So back to that Sunday
morning, practicing organ. I was
thinking about those months we spent in the Unknown, wondering how life would
have been different if we had just known about Libby from day one. Not necessarily taken her home, but known
about her. She was born eerily close to
the day we started waiting. How
differently would those six months have played out if we had known?
“Yes, Lord, walking in the way of
your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.” Isaiah 26:8
Yes, we waited for
her. But before “she” had a name, before
we even knew it was a “she,” when generic “Baby Redfield” was getting
gender-neutral Christmas and Easter gifts, we were waiting for the Lord and His
plan. He had His reasons and His ways,
and in the aftermath they now appear so clear and so wise. Not only why we waited for HER, but why, in
His wisdom and mercy, He asked us to wait to even KNOW of her. He had other plans for us last winter and
spring. And she was in wonderful hands
in the meantime.
My dear Hubby, the
pastor, needs the computer now. It is Saturday afternoon, after all. And I’ve already gone on for quite a
while. So y’all will have to wait a
couple hours to hear my take on God’s plans… just like we had to wait :)
And here's a picture of 2-day old Elizabeth to hold you over, from long before she was "ours."
No comments:
Post a Comment